Searching for Neverland Page 19

  “What’s wrong with your douchy ex-boyfriend?” my brother asked, coming up beside me with a beer in his hand.

  “Are you driving?” I asked, my big sister instincts kicking in.

  Trey wasn’t old enough to drink. He was only nineteen, but as long as he wasn’t driving, and as long as no one found out we had served him, it was cool.

  He shook his head. “We cabbed it from Taryn’s apartment. So why are you back with Ex?”

  I sighed. “I don’t know, Trey.”

  “You can do so much better. My friends all think you’re hot.”

  I laughed. Yeah, I so wasn’t going there. Cougar wasn’t something I was interested in adding to my dating resume.

  “Seriously, isn’t there someone better than that dick? I can’t stand him, and you know Mom and Dad think he’s a jerk.”

  Yeah, I was well-aware that my entire family hated Alex. But they loved Josh.

  “Want to do a birthday shot?” I suggested instead, appealing to my brother’s frat boy desires in an attempt to change the subject.

  He grinned. “Sure.”

  As we walked across the bar, I saw Josh sitting on the couch in the back corner talking to Sean and Bryce. Kimmy was nowhere to be seen, and I was glad. I hated seeing them together, and the fact that she was actually at my birthday party was tolerable at best, and only because she was Josh’s girlfriend, and he’d done a really nice thing for me by not only throwing the party, but sufficiently embarrassing himself with boy band karaoke would I not say anything.

  Taryn ran up to us when she saw Trey and me approaching the bar. “Sibling birthday shots?” she asked, and I wondered if our common penchant for alcohol was hereditary.

  We tipped back lemon drop shots, and Trey asked the bartender to pour us another round. I leaned against the bar and appraised my younger siblings. The three of us had always looked so much alike, but as we’d gotten older, Trey had started to take after our dad, and Taryn and I looked more like our mom.

  I hadn’t seen Trey since Easter, and every time I saw him, I felt like he looked so much more like a man than a boy – more and more like my father. Since I was almost ten years older than him, he’d always been my ‘little’ brother, but he wasn’t so little anymore.

  “Are you going to see Tanner while you’re in town?” I asked him.

  I knew Tanner had been bummed out when he’d heard Trey was staying in Gainesville for the summer to fulfill the requirement UF had that all students had to do at least one semester of summer school. And I knew he’d be even more upset if he knew Trey was in town and didn’t go visit him.

  Taryn and I were having dinner with our parents the next night to celebrate my birthday, but my mom hadn’t said anything about Trey coming. Seeing him at my birthday party had been a complete surprise.

  Trey nodded. “Yeah, I’m heading over there tomorrow morning. He has a baseball game at eleven, and then we’re going to grab some burgers, play laser tag, race go-karts and anything else he wants to do. I’m gonna do it up right, big brother style.”

  I grinned. That would completely make Tanner’s day. He’d be so happy.

  “Making up for all the weekends you couldn’t be here?” Taryn asked, and I wanted to elbow her. She didn’t need to make him feel bad.

  Trey grimaced. “I feel like a crappy brother, so I do what I can.”

  “You’re a good brother,” I said, putting Trey in a headlock and nuzzling his head with my knuckles.

  “Hey, watch the hair,” he said, flipping his blond locks across his forehead as he pulled out of my grasp.

  I reached over to smooth his hair back, but he ducked out of my way and ran his hand back through his thick blond hair.

  “Seriously, though, Tanner knows you have your own life. He gets it, and I know you call when you can.”

  Trey looked pensive as he contemplated what I’d just said. “Yeah, but I could do more,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair again.

  Crap, I hadn’t meant to make him feel bad too.

  “He has us,” Taryn said. “He’s fine, Trey.”

  She was right. The two of us made sure Tanner knew we hadn’t all abandoned him. But at the same time, two sisters did not make up for the guy he idolized.

  “Okay, let’s do these shots,” Trey suggested, and I knew he was changing the subject before he got bummed out. “There’s a brunette over there who looks lonely, and I’m just the guy who can make that feeling go away.”

  “Eww, gross,” Taryn and I said in unison, and Trey just grinned.

  I did two more shots with my brother and sister before Allison joined us at the bar. “Can I give you your present?” she asked excitedly.

  I grinned. “Sure!”

  I loved presents.

  “Great. It’s in Josh’s office. Come with me.” She grabbed me arm and dragged me toward the back of the bar.

  The door to Josh’s office was closed. When Allison opened it, she froze and then promptly screamed at the top of her lungs. I peered around her, expecting to see a snake or something equally traumatic like a roach, but what I saw was so much worse.

  “Oh, my God!” I said, my hand flying to my mouth.

  There, on Josh’s couch, were three completely naked party-goers engaged in a threesome. The girl, whose face I couldn’t see, was having sex with a guy with shoulder-length blond hair, who I vaguely recognized from somewhere, and behind him was a very familiar guy who I was pretty sure was pounding him in the ass. My jaw dropped open when I realized it was Cole.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Allison screamed, as she charged toward them.

  Cole stopped in mid-thrust and turned around when he heard Allison’s voice. Then he froze and his eyes got wide when he saw us, but the girl and other guy didn’t seem to hear Allison, and they kept going. Her moans and his groans as he plowed into her from behind made me want to gag.

  “Sorry guys,” Cole said, as he thrust into the guy’s ass once more, making him groan loudly. “We’re almost done.”

  Eww. Have some self-control.

  “I’m so close,” the girl said, and the guy in the middle breathed out, “Me too. Don’t stop – either of you.”

  Damn, her voice sounded familiar.

  “Cole, you asshole,” Allison shouted at him, but he ignored her. She turned to me. “Get Josh. Now!”

  “Arghh,” someone said, and it was followed by the sounds of three people climaxing. I turned away just as I saw Allison go for the baseball bat we both knew Josh kept behind his file cabinet.

  “Josh!” I shouted over to him. He looked up at me in concern. “I need you in here. Now!”

  He nodded, said something to Bryce and Sean, and then charged across the bar.

  I turned around then, because I heard more shouting coming from Allison. Inside the office I saw her eyes flashing in a wild rage, as she brandished the baseball bat at the three wannabe porn stars who were racing to locate their clothes. She was screaming a string of obscenities but had seemed to hone in on the girl. I still couldn’t see her face.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” she screamed, and moved to swing at her.

  Cole stepped in front of her, blocking her from Allison.

  “Get out of my way, Cole,” Allison growled.

  I started to back out of the office and collided with Josh who was coming in. His arms went around me to keep me from moving any further.

  “What the fuck is going on, Allison?” he yelled across the room to his sister, thoroughly confused because he hadn’t witnessed the pornographic acts that had been happening on his couch when we’d walked in. Allison’s aggression didn’t make sense to him. “Cole, what the hell, man?”

  “Josh,” Cole said, freezing in place.

  “This is what’s going on,” Allison said, grabbing the blond girl by her hair and spinning her, so she was face-to-face with Josh. Behind me I heard him suck in a breath as my eyes went wide as saucers. It was Kimmy.

  “You’re litt
le slut of a girlfriend was having a threesome with Cole and this joker.” Allison pointed the baseball bat in the direction of the blond guy who was trying to blend in with the wall. I suddenly recognized him as the guy who’d been hanging out with Cole the night we were all at Splitsville. “And apparently Cole is gay.”

  Josh’s grip around me tightened, but I could feel he was shaking. Not only had his girlfriend cheated on him, but she’d done it with his best friend – sort of, in an indirect way. I didn’t think the details mattered that much. And this same best friend was gay. Did he know that?

  “You okay,” I whispered back to him.

  “Um, yeah, not really,” he murmured, but he let go of me and crossed the office to Cole and Kimmy.

  “Get the fuck out of my bar,” he said calmly to both of them. “You,” he was pointing at Kimmy, “don’t call me again, and you,” his glare went to Cole, “if you ever come near me again, I will end you, you fucking bastard.”

  His message to Cole was so harsh that it made me scared for him. Josh seemed like he wanted nothing more than to take the bat from Allison and bash Cole’s head in with it. His jaw was clenched so tight and his eyes were wild.

  As Cole, Kimmy, and the blond guy filed out of his office, Josh looked away. Cole tried to make eye contact with him, but Josh wouldn’t look at him. Cole just hung his head and shuffled out behind Kimmy.

  I charged after the trio. “Hey,” I said, and all three of them turned around.

  Kimmy looked at me expectantly like she thought I was coming after her. Yeah, not likely. She wasn’t worth my time.

  “How could you do that to Josh?” I asked Cole, stepping toward him so I was inches from his face. “You slept with his girlfriend. I thought you cared about him?”

  He opened his mouth to respond, but Kimmy stepped in front of him. She glared at me. “Oh please. That didn’t hurt Josh. He was never interested in me. It’s you he’s in love with.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked, completely thrown by her comment.

  Sure, she’d said she was threatened by me, but I hadn’t taken any stock in it. Had she somehow found out that we’d hooked up? Was this her way of getting back at Josh?

  “Oh, don’t act like you don’t know. It’s obvious, and I was sick of him having one eye on you whenever you were in the room. And then he put together that stupid song and dance. That was the last straw for me. There’s only so much of that a girl can take.”

  She looked so ugly in that moment.

  “Then why didn’t you break up with him? Why did you have to have a threesome in his bar, with his former best friend?”

  I watched Cole wince when I said the word ‘former’. Then realization dawned on his face, and he turned to her. “You and Josh aren’t broken up?”

  I gave him a weird look, wondering why he would have thought they’d broken up. He didn’t meet my gaze, though. He was looking at Kimmy expectantly.

  She ignored him and smiled a sharp, pointed smile at me. “Well, I happen to like threesomes, and Haden,” she gestured to the blond guy, “is my ex, and he’s also Cole’s boyfriend. We were just having a little fun. And I figured if I got to hurt you and Josh in the process, then all the better.”

  My jaw dropped, but I was confused.

  “What do you mean hurt me?”

  “Taylor, it wasn’t like that,” Cole interjected. “Kimmy told Haden she and Josh broke up, but that they were still friends, which is why he invited her tonight. I didn’t know they were still dating. Josh and I haven’t really hung out lately, so I didn’t know. I swear. I never would have done that if they were still together.”

  He looked so remorseful in that moment that I felt bad for him. I wondered what had happened between him and Josh and why Kimmy had lied about her relationship.

  “Did you guys break up?” I demanded to Kimmy. Maybe I was missing something.

  She smiled a wicked smile at me. “No, but I knew Josh was going to end things with me. I heard him telling Allison. So, I figured I’d work things to my advantage. I knew you liked Cole and were really pissed that he never called after your date a few weeks ago. Josh told me how upset you were when you found out he had on a date with someone else.”

  Oh, so that was how she’d tried to hurt me. Well, nice try, but you picked the wrong guy to fuck if you were aiming to hurt me.

  Cole turned to Haden. “I’ll meet you outside, okay?”

  Haden didn’t say a word. He just nodded and grabbed Kimmy by the arm to drag her outside.

  “Hey, what are you doing?” she demanded.

  “You went too far, like you always do,” he said, as they walked away from us.

  Cole turned back to me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Taylor. I think you’re really pretty and super-fun and cool, but I just wasn’t really into it.”

  “You didn’t hurt me, Cole. It’s fine. We went out once, and it didn’t work out. It’s not a big deal. Trust me, I’m not as heartbroken as Kimmy thinks I am.”

  Cole sighed in relief. “I’m glad. I wasn’t trying to be a dick. And I really did go on a date. I went out with Haden. And although you’re hot as shit, I, um, I sort of think I might be into guys more than girls right now.”

  “So, you are gay?”

  He shook his head. “I’m bi – have been for a few years now – but I think I’m going to do the guy thing for a while and see how it goes. I got burned by Shannon, so maybe a bro won’t be as callous. I’m sorry if I led you on a few weeks ago. I honestly didn’t mean to.”

  I shook my head. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Does Josh know all this?”

  Cole shook his head remorsefully. “Yeah, he’s known for a while, and he was cool with it until a few weeks ago.”

  Oh. I realized without needing to hear what had happened that Cole had hit on Josh.

  He sighed. “He and I went out drinking the night after the four of us went to the movies, and I sort of told him I thought he was hot, and that wasn’t so cool.”

  “Did he get upset?” I couldn’t imagine Josh pushing his friend away, no matter what Cole had done.

  Cole shuffled his feet and looked down at the ground. I suddenly felt so bad for him that I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me. He hugged me back, almost clinging to me as he heaved a huge, painful sigh.

  “He’s my best friend. I never meant to hurt him or make him uncomfortable.”

  “I know. I know,” I soothed.

  This was a version of Cole I’d never known. Gone was the cool surfer guy who didn’t have a care in the world. This Cole was torn apart.

  “It was a shitty thing to do, because I know Josh isn’t into guys, but I think I was just confused or drunk or out of my mind. I don’t know, but things just got weird after that.”

  I let him go and appraised the frustrated look on his face. “Cole, when was the last time you talked to Josh?”

  “A few weeks ago. Sean told me he wanted me to come tonight, so I did, but we haven’t really talked yet.”

  “Go talk to him,” I encouraged.

  Cole let out a short, non-humorous laugh. “And say what? I’m sorry for hitting on you and making things weird and then having a threesome with your girlfriend? Yeah right, he’ll never forgive me.”

  “He will if you tell him the truth – that you didn’t know they were still together. And if what Kimmy says is true, he was going to break up with her anyway. And if it’s any consolation, I don’t really think he ever liked her to begin with.”

  He shook his head. “Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow, or next week. I’ll just let him be right now, but you’re right. He never liked her. He’s always been in love with you.”

  I reeled back. He’d said it so nonchalantly. “Are you serious?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. He’s in love with you, Taylor. He always has been. It’s why I never would have made a move on you even if I hadn’t met Haden. I thought we were going to the movies as friends. I didn’t real
ize you liked me. Did you really not know how Josh felt about you?”

  “Um, no I didn’t,” I said, unable to help the giddy feeling that spread throughout my body.

  “Well, yeah, he does. And I hope you love him back. He deserves someone great.”

  I cocked my head in confusion. “So why did you tell Josh you wanted to fuck me and thought it would be pretty easy to do so?”

  Cole smiled a small smile. “Because I figured it might piss him off and he’d finally tell you how he felt. I guess it didn’t work.”

  I was kind of in shock. “I really had no idea.”

  “Well, now you know, and hopefully you’ll do something about it. I think you and Josh would be great together. Anyway, thanks for listening. I’ll see you around, I guess.”

  “Cole,” I called after him when he started to walk away from me. He was leaving so abruptly.

  He turned around halfway. “Just tell Josh I’m sorry – for everything.”

  I nodded.

  A few seconds later, I felt arms encircle me from behind and stiffened when I realized they weren’t Josh’s arms. It was Alex, and his arms just felt wrong as images of Josh had been running through my mind non-stop for the past few minutes.

  “I’m sorry,” Alex said, his lips at my ear.

  I reeled around to face him. Did he not know what had just happened with Josh and Kimmy and Cole? I glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Josh glare at Alex and me and slam his office door behind him.

  “Can we not do this right now?” I asked Alex.

  “What?”

  I shook my head. “I sort of need to take care of something. A friend needs me right now.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Who? Josh?”

  Something in his tone didn’t sit right.

  “Yes,” I said cautiously.

  He just shook his head. “I knew it.”

  “Knew what?”

  “You have feelings for him, don’t you?”

  “Alex, this isn’t a good time to talk about this.”

  “Whatever,” he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

  I felt bad all of sudden, and I realized why he’d wanted to escape to my house earlier. He felt threatened by Josh, and I knew I needed to come clean.